Estate disputes are upsetting for all concerned. Nicola K Smith explains how careful planning and tactful conversations can prevent disputes and avoid unpleasant surprises when emotions are running high.
If you’ve ever helped a client through a family dispute after a death, you’ll know prevention is everything.
As a solicitor – and a parent – I often think about what we leave behind. Not just money or property, but relationships, responsibilities and the emotional weight that can fall on the people we care about.
And too often, things go wrong not because of bad intentions, but because of missed opportunities to plan ahead.
This article is about spotting those opportunities and taking action before families end up in my inbox with a dispute that could have been avoided.
The problem with ‘It’ll be fine…’
Too many clients believe:
- Their children will ‘get along fine’.
- Their appointment of executors ‘won’t cause issues’.
- Their intentions are ‘clear enough’ even without documentation.
But as practitioners, we know better. Assumptions create the perfect environment for disputes.
Five ways to prevent disputes before they start
- Get the right executors in place – not just the closest.
Encourage clients to choose executors for their skills and relationship dynamics, not just because ‘they’re my eldest’.
- Use co-executors carefully.
- Highlight potential conflicts (such as siblings with tension).
- Consider appointing professionals in complex estates.
- Use LPAs early and thoughtfully
Abuse often begins before death, through financial decisions made under pressure or without oversight.
- Ensure LPAs are in place while capacity is clear.
- Discuss safeguards: joint attorneys, replacement options, notification rules.
- Review who holds access to accounts and documents.
- Document the ‘why’ behind big gifts or will clauses
If your client is leaving one child more, make sure the reasoning is recorded.
- Use a capacity assessment or statement of intent.
- Apply the Golden Rule (especially for elderly clients).
- Consider a short letter of wishes to explain reasoning (even if not legally binding).
- Spot and talk about red flags
We see the signs: adult children who speak on behalf of the parent, family members who ‘manage everything’ quietly in the background.
- Ask subtle questions about influence and support.
- Encourage clients to attend meetings alone.
- Log conversations and capacity impressions clearly.
- Encourage early family conversations
Disputes often stem from surprise.
- If safe to do so, suggest clients share their intentions.
- Consider a family meeting with a solicitor present.
- Help clients understand the emotional impact of their choices.
Why this matters
Disputes cost money. But they also cost relationships. As our population ages and more wealth transfers generationally, these issues will only grow. We’re not just here to resolve, we’re here to prevent.
About the author
Nicola K Smith is a senior associate in the specialist Contentious Trusts, Probate and Court of Protection team at Forbes Solicitors, based in Manchester. With over 12 years of litigation experience, she now focuses exclusively on disputes involving the administration of estates, trusts and the affairs of vulnerable individuals.
