Two thirds of those who have arranged a funeral have had either no or just partial instructions from the person they have lost, according to new research from a crematorium and cemetery operator.
Westerleigh Group, which operates 42 sites in England, Wales and Scotland, says its survey of more than 2,000 people aged over 55 who have planned a funeral within the last five years highlights the need for proper funeral planning.
Three in four respondents (77%) said they believe it its essential to say a proper goodbye, with the vast majority (92%) saying a personalised service is important. But despite the preference for meaningful services, 65% of those who had arranged a funeral said they had no, or only partial, instructions from loved ones.
Just over half (54%) of the respondents said they found it difficult to discuss their own death with family, 53% had made no funeral plans or kept them private, and only 12% of those surveyed said they had a paid funeral plan in place.
Many respondents described discussing their own death with their family as uncomfortable, with 82% of respondents saying that they found organising a funeral stressful and 55% regretting not having more conversations about final wishes.
The result, according to Westerleigh, is a “great silence” that leaves families unprepared and uncertain.
Managing director Ed Lane said: “Our research results reinforce the importance of funerals not just as ceremonies, but as critical moments for connection, reflection and healing during time of grief.
“Our research results reinforce the importance of funerals not just as ceremonies, but as critical moments for connection, reflection and healing during time of grief.
“In fact, 77% of our respondents agreed that a funeral service is important for people to come together and support each other when they are grieving a loss of a loved one.
“Personalisation, from music choices to readings and inclusion of meaningful items within the service, plays a key role in helping families create a farewell that truly reflects the life lived, supporting healthier grieving.
“The findings highlight an urgent need to normalise conversations about death and funeral planning but also understand what kind of funeral service the most fitting choice for a loved one would be – taking time to thoroughly compare options, ideally by speaking to a local funeral director.
“By discussing wishes in advance, individuals can ease the burden on loved ones, reduce stress and uncertainty and help ensure a more meaningful, personalised farewell.”
